27 March 2013

Judges 2:19

Wow! Things sure haven't changed much in 2,000 years!! I always heard my parents and aunts and uncles talk about younger generations and how much worse they were than when they were growing up. "I'd have never done that in a million years" was said a lot! Now that I'm a parent of grown children I have felt this way too. I have also seen this often in my recovery. When someone relapses, it seems to be worse than what it was the first time around. I can apply this principle to my life by constantly remaining firm in my decision to serve God, follow His will and not mine, and to break the cycle of addiction and pain. To set an example that powerlessness and reliance on God isn't a weakness, but is in fact, the only way to true strength.

Father God, I surrender all of my life and will to You. I pray You reveal to me any stubbornness and remove it from me so I am able to set a good example for my children and my grandchildren. That I seek You in all things and that You remove any temptation of my old self, my old habits and my old lifestyle that I might be hiding away for a rainy day, Amen!

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1 Corinthians 12 (the whole chapter)

I have struggled with self-esteem issues and feelings of inadequacy almost my whole life. There seems to be so much societal pressure to "stand-out" yet "fit-in". And in trying to get people to "like" me, spending my life seeking their favor and allowing my issues of self-esteem and inadequacy rule and drive my life. The resulting pain and disappointment it all caused, threw me into a vicious cycle of self-hatred and abuse at my own hand. Until recovery, and my renewal of seeking God out, I had completely lost sight of who I really was. Even now, it's sometimes hard for me to believe that God has given me a gift, a talent that is for His purpose. That He made me and I am acceptable to Him.

Father God, I pray that through this new relationship with You that You reveal to me Your purpose for me and my life. That as my reliance on You grows, so does my self-worth in my own eyes. That my shame and guilt and feelings of inadequacy be replaced by a sense of purpose for Your will and a positive, healthy, balanced self-image and the comfort and assurance in the knowledge that you know me and love me anyways, Amen!

26 March 2013

Joshua 24:21-24

Toby Mac is one of my favorite artists and he carries the theme of this scripture in several songs. I think that the worlds "idols" that we worship encompass so much more than what we might think of in reading scripture. "America has no more stars, now we call them idols..." (Toby Mac, Lose My Soul). We "worship" money, social status, entertainers, computers, video games, even addresses! All too often we are judged acceptable or not acceptable by what we have rather than what we do, what we give and what our character is like.

God, I pray that I don't get caught up in worldly things, that I keep my eyes and heart on You. That I remember by serving man, I am serving You. That I bear witness to myself and hold my own self accountable for my actions and that I seek You in all I do, Amen!

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1 Corinthians 11:17-22

The Bible I have is a recovery Bible (NLT)and often will have notes on different scripture to help me (or whoever) gain a better understanding of terms, or feelings in the scripture. The reason why I like this particular scripture is because I often felt out of place in church or with my family because of my lack of faith or knowledge or accomplishment or status compared to that of others. I recognize now that in almost all of those instances, they were a product of my own feelings of inadequacy and self-worth, or lack-there-of. It helps me a lot to try to remember that my family and friends and church love me and don't really feel that way. And if I just take a deep breath and step back from the situation and look at with the loving and accepting eyes of those in my life, rather than my eyes that are hurt and feel inadequate, things totally change. And I also know that before and during my addiction there were several times when I thought that I was "better" than another person. I am grateful that I don't feel or, hopefully, behave like that anymore. I truly believe that we are all sinners and we are all equal and worthy of God's love, grace and mercy. My cousin Nic once told me that just because he sinned differently than me, didn't make him any less of a sinner. Knowing that he truly believed what he was saying, helped me tremendously to put current and even past situations into perspective. I realized then that the only person looking down on me, was me.

God, I pray that I remember that You love me unconditionally and that I am worthy to be called Your child. That you help me become Your disciple and that I am wise in Your Word and always treat people with love and respect and tolerance. To be mindful of where I came from but grateful for where I am. That I strive to follow Your will and not my own, Amen!

25 March 2013

Joshua 21;45

God is soooo faithful!! Just one more reminder that God loves us & wants us to be prosperous. I need to remember that many paths can lead to the same place. One path might be smooth, easy and well traveled. Another might be rough, treacherous and uncut. But no matter which path God has chosen for us, it doesn't mean we won't have His promise fulfilled in the end. Everybody's testimony is different. And I like a good adventure! :)

Father God, you are more faithful than I deserve. You are the same always and I will praise You on the stormy days as well as the bright sunny ones. Please help me as I study your Word, that it becomes what sustains me, Amen!

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Psalm 47:6

As part of a sermon for New Year's a few years ago, my old pastor passed out a list to help people choose a more spiritually based New Years Resolution. A challenge. The one I chose was "only listen to worship music for one year". In all honesty, it was the "easiest", as far as time or effort. And yet it ended up making some very profound changes in my life, and the life of my husband. And just like giving makes you feel better than receiving, it makes me feel better if I am singing praises to God. It is impossible to stay in a bad mood if you listen to worship music. If you don't believe me, then I challenge you to do it the next time you are in a bad mood. It puts me in a great mood and totally changes my perspective. And it has also led me to make other positive changes, like what I watch. At first, it was only what I watched when Shayleigh was awake. But now, thankfully, those things have no interest for me. 

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1 Corinthians 10:12-13

This is a very popular scripture in recovery. But really, it can be applied to all aspects of my life. It's important to try to reach people when they're in their addictions, but it's even more important to make sure that I am humble and that my own recovery comes first and won't be compromised.

Father God, thank you, thank you, thank you! for not leaving me in my darkest hour. For bringing me through that storm in my life! I am truly grateful for my 2nd chance. I pray i am always mindful that you are the solid rock my life and recovery is built on. That you are faithful and always with me, Amen!

24 March 2013

Joshua 19:24-39

The first because it reminds me what could happen in my life and in my kids' lives if I am not successful in driving out my "enemies" or sin. Like Asher and Naphtali both learned, it was costly to them and their descendants and became a "thorn in Israel's side" (Deuteronomy 31:16-20; Judges 2:1-3, 11-14). Problems and issues must be resolved so they aren't passed on to future generations. The "enemy" can take the form of any type of addiction (drugs, alcohol, gambling, work, internet, porn) sexual abuse or other problems. Not the legacy I want to leave!

Father God, please keep me mindful that my actions and choices will have a ripple effect to those who know and love me. Help me make wise choices. Help me to always seek you out and ask for forgiveness so that I might have victory over my personal sins and enemies, through You, Amen.

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Joshua 19:49-50

The second because of all the land Joshua could have taken, he chose the land that his ancestors came from. By doing this he honored his extended family and his roots. Although our roots are not perfect, we can honor God by celebrating what is good about them. 

Father God, thank you so much for the family I have been born in to. They are such a source of comfort and joy to me and my kids and husband. Please help me to honor them and also my own past so that I don't lose my way or forget where I came from or what you have brought me through. So my mistakes are not repeated either by me or my children or grandchildren, Amen!

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1 Corinthians 9:19-22, 24, 26

It was very hard for me to pick one scripture here. This chapter really spoke to me! But the heart of it, I believe is 9:22. In recovery, is is very important to find common ground with others and their testimony, not differences. Thinking you or your situation is "different" or "special" can quickly lead you down the road to relapse. And you can't help someone if you don't understand them and they don't identify with you. How wise Paul was! In recovery, and in life, it is important to listen to someone else's story and find common ground with your own in order to help or guide them. Not by telling them, "Do this!" or "No! Don't do that!". But by hearing and knowing their story and understanding whee they are coming from and where they currently are, I can draw parallel's to my own story. What choices I made, what the outcomes and consequences and blessings were that resulted from them. "I" statements are very important in relating to someone else so you're not accusing and/or putting them on the defensive. It allows them to think for themselves and encourages them to seek out God on their own. Often I have sought out a sponsor or mentor or my husband to "tell me what to do". I didn't want to be responsible or accountable. I was afraid of what people would think if I messed up or failed. One of the hardest lessons I had to learn was that it only matters what God thinks and that the only way for me to know that is to develop a personal relationship with Him and ask!! This way, I am not deterred on my path because of someone else's mistake or sin because I am seeking God, not man's, counsel. I have tried to carry that with me, to share in someone else's "weakness" and show them what Christ has done for me and can do for them too. Paul was on fire for God, but he also understood human nature!

Father God, I pray that you give me wisdom and sympathy like Paul. If I could only become a "slave to all people" in order for you to save them! I pray desperately that my fire for You never be snuffed out but to be hungrily fed, growing bigger and brighter so all I come in contact with are consumed by Your love and grace. That I live in such a way that even people who don't know You, might know You through my behavior and lifestyle, Amen!

23 March 2013

1 Corinthians 8:1-2

Knowledge, at times, has made me feel important though there isn't anything stronger than love. I love verse 2! It's a reminder to me that I have an actual relationship with Christ. That I can study every day of my life, pray, fast, know every word of the Bible backwards and forwards and will still NOT know everything! That my relationship with Him is as real and tangible as any other I have. That all of my knowledge comes from Him through His Word and the Holy Spirit. So as I cannot boast about grace (Ephesians 2:8-9), I also shouldn't boast about my knowledge or feel superior and should remain humble.

Father God, I ask that I keep present in my mind that I am important to you & that you love me, regardless of what I know or don't know or what I eat or don't. That my faith is what saves me, not my knowledge. I pray that you use me and the knowledge You have given me to spread it to nonbelievers that through you they might be saved, Amen!

22 March 2013

Joshua 12-14

No particular scripture by itself really stands out to me, but as a whole, after spending several hours looking at maps, reading Jewish texts and keeping track myself of the names of the kings, kingdoms, and towns that Joshua had victory over, I am in awe! What faith and obedience to God Joshua had! What a huge undertaking! 31 kings defeated! Even when several of them would unite their armies, they could not defeat Joshua. That's amazing! It was a huge amount of land that was conquered. And they did not have a massive army to do it, but they had something better, God! (I tried to look up the referenced book of "Jashar", but no luck)

Father God, please help me to have that kind of faith! Faith to follow you, to be courageous in following your will for me, even if the task seems impossible. I am in awe of you God, of your power and of your faithfulness. How mighty you are!! I pray for strength do do your will as you make it known to me, Amen!

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1 Corinthians 7:12-15; 7:23

The first scripture I have said many times to try to explain to people the hope and faith I have in my husband and in my marriage. To try to explain to people how serious I take my vows. So, of course, I am fond of this scripture. But what really stood out to me was 7:23. God paid the ultimate price for me! And, honestly, asks for very little in return! Would it be worth living in my own will, to give the gift He has given me back? Would anything be worth God's grace? Heck no! Such a small scripture spoke so loudly to me! And in the middle of the scriptures on marriage, totally unexpectedly. It seems to me that God is reminding me, again, to guard my heart! To honor and respect His will for which so obviously includes submitting to my husband. That God will honor my submission and lead my husband.

Father God, please help me guard my heart, to treat my husband lovingly and to respect him and his leadership. I pray for him to seek you in all things to lead us. I pray you honor our marriage and help us live in peace with each other, staying satisfied with each other. I pray we bring honor and holiness to each other, our marriage and our relationship with you. Please lead and honor my husband as I lovingly submit to him, Amen!

21 March 2013

1 Corinthians 6:18

I believe that sexual sin is not only a sin against the body, but of the heart, mind and spirit as well. One of the things I regret most in life is having pre-marital sex. The thoughts and emotions that are associated with this physical act are so clearly belonging to a husband and wife. If I could go back in time, I would warn myself! Almost all of the devastating things in my life can, roughly, be simplified to reflect my choices based on sex/sexual relationships. The parts of my body I so freely and foolishly gave, reflected parts of my heart that I can never get back.Disease, unplanned pregnancy, single-parenting, affairs, divorce, betrayal, poor self-image, regret, shame, mistrust. And I didn't even have to think to come up with that. I know that a lot of people think that adultery means cheating. That as long as they aren't married and cheating, it's not as bad. I thought that too. But, actually, adultery is ANY sexual act with someone that you aren't married to. It's not just a moral suggestion. There is no possible way to have intimacy with someone you don't know. I know I often get a lot of flack from friends because I won't allow my oldest daughter to date. She will be 15 next month. But one lesson I learned well was the only purpose of dating is to find out what kind of person you want and don't want to marry. If you aren't ready to marry, you have no reason to date. I wish I would have realized that 20 years ago!! Yes, sexual immorality clearly affects our bodies, but I feel it also clearly affects so much more. One of my biggest regrets is not saving myself for my husband James.Sex doesn't begin in the bedroom. And sexual intimacy is very important in a marriage. One of the best ways I can bring sexual intimacy into my marriage, is by keeping myself pure, in body, mind and heart. Yes, I am allowed to have sex. And sex is great and amazing and powerful but it is only good for me within the confines of my marriage (6:12). Sexual immorality breeds rape, incest, lust, pornography and so much more pain and brokenness!

Father God, please help me guard my heart and my mind and body that I might keep myself pure for my husband and my marriage. Please keep lustful thoughts from me. Help me to behave and dress modestly that I bring honor to my husband and marriage and don't cause lust in the heart and mind of another besides my husband. Help me to pass this on to my daughters and to be a good example to them. Please forgive me for my sexual transgressions and heal me from the brokenness that they've caused me and my family, Amen

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Joshua 10:12-15

God does not call us to be ignorant, but we must be careful that we do not allow intellect rob us of our faith!!!